I really enjoy your medieval pastoral stories, they offer a nice reprieve when I get a break from work. I've never underestimated geese and thanks to this story, I guess I never will. lol
Thank you, I really appreciate that! These stories usually start as ‘What if a a man had guard geese?’ And the morals follow 😆 I've had both geese and ducks and they're very kind. They loved being carried around like a small child.
Just finished, this is excellent storytelling! I love what you’ve done with the old soldier motif—the one with a past and in need of redemption. Very creative and interesting medieval community as well. I’ll be checking out more of your stuff for sure!
The relationship between the Goosewarden and his flock mirrors how trust is built through consistent presence rather than force. The way you portray protection as something both fierce and gentle shows a deep understanding of what it means to defend without becoming what you oppose.
Much like your other stories, this one is full of grace and wisdom. I love how you use broken people in humble professions to represent the greatest virtues of humanity.
I’m not sure why you use “like” so often when employing metaphors. You describe how the miller covers the flour with straw, “like hiding treasure.” But you could also say “they hid their greatest treasure, bags of flour, under piles of straw.” It wouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t do it so frequently— writing a good sentence, then tacking on a metaphor at the end to make it poetic. You use “like” frequently in general (for instance in the ending) when you could simply say, “he was home.” In my middle school writing program I was never allowed to use the word like because we were encouraged to show rather than tell.
I don’t want to nitpick. But it jumps out at me enough that I had to say something. Your writing style isn’t at issue here, but I do encourage you to aim for better readability.
I really enjoy your medieval pastoral stories, they offer a nice reprieve when I get a break from work. I've never underestimated geese and thanks to this story, I guess I never will. lol
Thank you, I really appreciate that! These stories usually start as ‘What if a a man had guard geese?’ And the morals follow 😆 I've had both geese and ducks and they're very kind. They loved being carried around like a small child.
Aww, that’s actually kind of cute to hear.
Just finished, this is excellent storytelling! I love what you’ve done with the old soldier motif—the one with a past and in need of redemption. Very creative and interesting medieval community as well. I’ll be checking out more of your stuff for sure!
Thank you so much, Mark! I look forward to checking out yours. Have a blessed weekend. 🤠
I just finished reading part 1 and wow! Very excited to continue reading.
I feel as though my most recent short story’s protagonist and yours are kindred spirits.
Thank you, Mark! I'll check it out when I have the chance.
The relationship between the Goosewarden and his flock mirrors how trust is built through consistent presence rather than force. The way you portray protection as something both fierce and gentle shows a deep understanding of what it means to defend without becoming what you oppose.
Thank you, I always appreciate your thoughts.
Much like your other stories, this one is full of grace and wisdom. I love how you use broken people in humble professions to represent the greatest virtues of humanity.
I’m not sure why you use “like” so often when employing metaphors. You describe how the miller covers the flour with straw, “like hiding treasure.” But you could also say “they hid their greatest treasure, bags of flour, under piles of straw.” It wouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t do it so frequently— writing a good sentence, then tacking on a metaphor at the end to make it poetic. You use “like” frequently in general (for instance in the ending) when you could simply say, “he was home.” In my middle school writing program I was never allowed to use the word like because we were encouraged to show rather than tell.
I don’t want to nitpick. But it jumps out at me enough that I had to say something. Your writing style isn’t at issue here, but I do encourage you to aim for better readability.
Thank you for reading, and for the kind words about the story.
Thank you, Phillip! 🤠